Possibly the funniest story in a long while. 
 This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the 
 newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' 
 Compensation board.
 
 This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
 Darwin Award for sure.......
 
 Dear Sir,   I am writing in response to your request for 
 additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. 
 I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for 
 a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be 
 sufficient.
 
 I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
 working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I
 completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over
 which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess
 of 500lbs.
 
 Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower
 them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
 side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at
 ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded
 the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
 holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
 
 You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I
 weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the
 ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to
 let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid
 rate up the side of the building.
 
 In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was
 now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This
 explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken
 collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.
 
 Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping 
 until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into
 the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence
 of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of
 beginning to experience pain. 
 
 At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
 the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of 
 the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 
 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I
 began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.
 
 In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
 This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and 
 several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck
 began to change slightly. 
 
 The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen
 my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately
 only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report,
 however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable
 to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
 go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin
 it's journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken
 legs.
 
 I hope this answers your inquiry. 
 
 Kevin Roben Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd PO Box 5004
 ( 11 Dobney Ave ) Wagga Wagga NSW 2650