Question:
 > Does anyone have any information on how many calories are burned
 by various sexual activities? This may be the best physical
 exercise to lose weight!
 
 Answer:
 -----------------------------------------
  ACTIVITY                 CALORIES BURNED
 -----------------------------------------
 
 REMOVING CLOTHES:
  With partner's consent...............12
  Without partner's consent...........187
 
 UNHOOKING BRA:
  Using two calm hands..................7
  Using one trembling hand.............36
 
 GETTING INTO BED:
  Lifting partner......................15
  Dragging partner along floor.........16      
  Using skateboard......................3
 
 ACHIEVING ERECTIONS:
  For normal healthy man..............2.5
  Losing erection......................14
  Searching for it....................115
 
 PUTTING ON CONDOM:
  With erection.......................1.5
  Without erection....................300
 
 INSERTING DIAPHRAGM:
  If the woman who does it is
   Experienced..........................6
   Inexperienced.......................73
  If a man does it....................680
  
  Add (5) calories for retreiving it
  from across the room.
 
 POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY:
  Italian- Man on top, woman in
   kitchen.............................26
  Russian- Woman on bottom,
   man getting permission..............55
  American- Both on top................60
 
 POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE:
  Bouncing..............................7
  Sliding around........................9
  Serious skidding.....................12      
  Whiplash.............................27
 
 ORGASM:
  Real.................................27
  Faked...............................160
 
 ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE:
  Shoes flew off.......................35
  Expression didn't change............1/2
  Orchestra swelled.....................6
  Birds sang
   Large birds..........................7
   Small birds..........................3
 Earth moved...........................30
 
 PULLING OUT:
  After orgasm........................1/2
  A few moments before orgasm.........500
 
 PENIS ENVY:
  For woman.............................3
  For men..............................72
 
 GUILT:
  Despite no formal training, orgasm
   comes easily, naturally.............53
  You're enjoying sex, despite the
   fact that other people are
   starving.............................2
  Sex on your lunch hour................3
  Putting it on expense account........20
 
 AGGRAVATION:
  Partner keeps showing plants..........5
  Partner insists on cuddling the dog
   during foreplay.....................14
  Partner just visited bathroom for
   7th time............................10
  Partner is taking phone calls.........7
  Partner is making phone calls........40
 
 GETTING CAUGHT:
  By partner's spouse..................60
  By your spouse......................100
  Trying to explain....................55
  Trying to remain calm...............100
  Leaping out of bed...................75
  Getting dressed in one motion.......500
  Thanking partner quickly..............2