Reasons Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers
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 Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides
 
 Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave them in
 the fridge for a month.
 
 Beer is always in season.
 
 Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person you're
 looking at, if you drink enough of it   :-)
 
 Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.
 
 
 
 Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer
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 You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
 
 Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.
 
 Cucumbers have fewer calories.
 
 Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day watching
 TV and eating cucumbers.
 
 You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.
 
 Your wife won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.
 
 You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.
 
 You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.
 
 Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn't hurt (much).
 
 You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.
 
 A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
 
 You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't explode when you bite
 it.
 
 You don't have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your
 clothes.